1. |
||||
|
I am broken by design, not far from anybody elses shitty past, a bitter fact that I still blame myself. I'd like to laugh about it now, or even see it as a blur, reach the point where I am happy and I don't have to come to terms. But i'm not quite there, and I have never been it seems like such a steady stage is fixed on feeling permanent. I used to hold it in my head but now its spilling out my mouth. You couldn't fucking love me then, how could you fucking love me now.
Things fall apart, and then they leave too soon. So why miss a second involving you so lets dance, blow this whole night away. Don't you just think that I might want to stay. For a second I look at your eyes, they were looking away the whole time. So then when I turn to leave you wouldn't mind
This is me at my weakest point
These are the issues I couldn't avoid.
If I can't think this shit through then i'm probably as hopeless and damaged as you.
I can frolic in phrase that I am better off alone, but on my darkest days it's never helped me cope. I can divvy out the blame to everyone i've ever known, or I can face the fact that you were fucking wrong. It's taken all this time to process what you've done but with the rising sun I am new again. It's taken all this time to process what you've done and with the rising sun I am new again.
|
||||
2. |
Pajama Day
02:08
|
|
||
|
You've made a mess of everything you've ever done, And in the process made it harder for everyone.
So you drink too much until your eyes stay shut and you wait it out. Convince yourself that by the morning you'll be fine some how.
But if you feel like dying there are drugs to calm you down. It all seems so enlightening till your friends foaming at the mouth. (the mouth) As you were driving home from the hospital you couldn't shake this off.
If the needle don't help there's a bullet that will, and tonight it is all you want.
(If the needle don't help there's a bullet that will)
If the needle don't help there's a bullet that will, and tonight it is all you want.
|
||||
3. |
Anomie
04:00
|
|||
|
You're gonna get drunk, pass out, and wake up and realize you've sipped three years from your cup
You're gonna get drunk, pass out, and wake up and realize you've sipped three years from your cup and with a limp wrist, you pour an ignorant bliss. You throw rocks at the bricks but, hit glass when you miss
And I Know you're just trying to manage your birth-right disadvantage Silver spoon in your mouth that you chew so damn loud you were screaming bloody murder by the time it got ripped out.
You Said that you were everything and i cannot say the same. Cause i'm standing here in the mess you made (mess you made) You lack social determination self sufficient alienation and all the things that you've done wrong
Stop blaming everyone else you did this to yourself we heard the noise when you fell. You've got your own soul if you need one to sell. I'm not financing the tunnel you're digging straight to hell.
I Hope you find what you're looking for (I Hope you find Yourself) whether it's in the words you say or the friends you make to try. and settle the score.
Overworked, Underfed. My house is only for the bed. I can't remember the last thing you said. all i know is that you left me for dead.
It's a shame to see you fall so far from grace (I Hope you find yourself)
It's like watching a king get punished when he doesn't like the taste (Before you hit the ground)
I Hope you see me in the mirror
(Can you see through yourself)
I Hope my words are getting clearer
(I'm right behind you now)
I Hope you find what you're looking for (I Hope you find Yourself) whether it's in the words you say or the friends you make to try. and settle the score.
Aren't we all supposed to be friends you're actions are making for that to end. Bite your tongue, lower your head. Hide from the poison you Continue to spread
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
The smell of smoke arrived well before me, watching the birth of stars and knowing that eventually. With a flick of ash (hoping it's my last) they will cross, and crash, and fall into the sea. I have tendencies to drift away. I'm always drowning and won't let you feel the same
We broke into an abandoned house.
Painted Canaries on the walls.
Such sweet warnings sung in harmony.
No chance we'd hear the building fall
Climb my branches (Check my leaves) are they the color that you're looking for? Well autumn's coming soon dear (put to rest all your fears) i'm still waiting on your's. maybe you'll this shade much more.
Keep the calendar close, Cut me open, Count the rings.
Can you feel the wind cease me to sing.
We planted seeds up on the hillside.
(With the promise of rain)
The soil reluctantly agreed.
What would be blossom turned to mourning.
Sunflowers don't grow under trees.
Love me long enough to leave a scar to color in. I'll paint it blue and gold and show it off to all my friends. Love me long enough to leave a scar to color in. I'll paint it blue and gold and show it off to all my friends.
(I don't expect you to go, I don't expect you to stay. The smell of smoke on my breath, and your voice in the rain)
(Am I strong enough to let this go? Am I strong enough? Am I strong enough?)
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
I think I want to die I can try to believe it's getting better
If I said it's getting better it was never meant to last,
I am fine, I am fine, I am finally embodying.
The very best and worst of me, it seems to level out.
But in time I will find that, I will never find that
Picture of my mom and dad when they were still in love,
And suddenly I realize that could be my own life.
Focused on the downside never looking up.
With my luck, it's seeming pretty possible that you may never see it clear enough to see it through. If my love isn't quite enough to care for you then it's true we were better as friends.
I think I want to die I can try to interpret this as normal.
Finding comfort in the morals that would teach me how to love.
But enough is enough I was close to giving up.
But it's hard to shake the feeling every time our fingers touch.
With my luck, it's seeming pretty possible that you may never see it clear enough to see it through. If my love isn't quite enough to care for you then it's true we were better as friends.
With my luck, it's seeming pretty possible that you may never see it clear enough to see it through. If my love isn't quite enough to care for you then it's true we were better as friends.
I Think I Want To Die
I Think I Want To Die
I Think I Want To Die
I Think I Want To Die
I Think I Want To Die
I Think I Want To Die, I Think I Want I Think I Want it
I Think I Want to Die
I Think I Want, I Think I Want, I Think I Want It.
(With my luck, it's seeming pretty possible that you may never see it clear enough to see it through. If my love isn't quite enough to care for you then it's true we were better as friends.)
I Think I Want To Die.
|
||||
6. |
Untitled
03:47
|
|||
|
I'll miss you as much as you allow me to. You walk around, like theres something to prove. Let the bird fly but it's wings are clipped, to ensure that you never slip
Put down your guard, I mean no harm. I Learned once before. You only play D. and thats okay. but the crescent wanes, and when the stars show, they belong to me.
I'll miss you as much as you allow me to. You walk around, like theres something to prove. Let the bird fly,it's wings are clipped, to ensure that you could never slip.
Stick the knife in, twist it, and pull it out. emasculate as I bleed from my mouth. But I still wish you the best at the end of the day, despite how you force me to say that. I will not try anymore but I will always keep an open door. My old friends say that you've got them hooked.(I'll always keep an open door) Cause you're a sucker for a fucker who's passed out on the floor (Cause you're a sucker for a fucker who's passed out on the floor)
Yeah you're a sucker for a fucker who's passed out on the floor. So you do you, and I'll do me. I Just hope the choices you make make you happy
(Yeah you're a sucker for a fucker who's passed out on the floor.)
They say it starts with an ending but it also ends with an ending. So how am I supposed to know the difference? When am I supposed to be hopeful for a new bloom and hopeless for the immanent and ultimate? it's all bullshit. I was thinking of cutting my hair and shaving my face. I think we've all yearned to revel in some sort of physical embodiment of some sort of new life cycle. To sever the ties of who we once were and who we want to be. You cut your hair too. The weight was holding you back from all of those important things of which you lost track of somewhere between your initial departure from the things that used to keep you up at night and your discovery of another way to lose sleep. But we've all got our own ways to lose sleep. Our personal parasites to creep around that have seeked and bound to that particular glitch in your system, the one you hoped to destroy and wish to no longer listen they keep it around. But then again, we all have our own ways to lose sleep anyway
And with the absent moon
And the setting sun
(and with the rising sun)
Everything is done
I Can be new again
(I am new again)
|
||||
7. |
Down The Block
03:11
|
|||
|
I Saw you chilling down the block, you know it's just a short walk from mine to yours.
So what's it like city lights now baby, with that midwest feel, is it driving you crazy? 808s, heartbreaks, and vices keep you down, figure it out, I know you'll figure it out
(Go)
You know I get the feeling too. Pack up my bags and start somewhere new.
There's a reason why you have two ears, and its exactly why you have one mouth. You keep on hearing cheers for you but if your names not involved you drown it out, but the water is rising, fresh hope to bring the tides in. use that fresh scenery, forcing new inspiration.
I'm sorry for some of the words that I used. But your downfall is just self abuse. I miss the clouds of smoke bellow out. With the worthless words that fall out of our mouths.
I Lost you (oh) Long ago, now you're not here and I'm all alone, these days man what a heavy load without someone to help you tow.
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
I Saw the hospital, outside of my car window, turned off the radio and prayed for those who need it the most.
I Saw the hospital, outside of my car window, turned off the radio and prayed for those who need it the most. I haven't done this in years, but lately I live in fear if i'm the next one to go then I don't know (I don't know)
If I die alone.
If I die alone.
Tell me that there's hope.
When i'm gone, you will see me with your eyes closed.
I Past the funeral, for someone I used to know, I didn't have the guts to stand there, in my street clothes. With everyone dressed in black recalling moments they've had with him. As I analyze my own situation.
If I die alone.
If I die alone.
Tell me that there's hope.
When i'm gone, you will see me with your eyes closed.
(I Saw The Hospital) If I die alone. (tally up my grave)
(Outside of my car window) If I die alone. (for the times I could be saved)
(I Past the funeral) Tell me that there's hope. (I'm never coming home)
(for someone I used to know) When i'm gone, you will see me with your eyes are closed.
|
||||
9. |
This is Me Now
04:16
|
|||
|
This takes me back to the night when you left. I said will you love me when I have nothing left to loose? And you shook your head. Who am I to blame you, and who am I to write? If I wasn't tied to this bag of bones I think I might get up and leave straight up secede from the responsibilities like keeping me happy to finding the air to breathe. Socially giving up it seemed. I lock all of my doors in hopes it will keep me safe, but the only fears that I have left are inside my brain.
(so I might Finally)
Listen to what you said, Maybe I'm better off Dead. I'll drown myself in the alcohol that's left upon my breath. So I might finally listen to what you said. I'll lay awake by lakeside tonight and I'll wait for things to change, but they never really change.
Man I've been spinning in circles for years, opened up my eyes and now i'm here. maybe just now I may get some rest. and If I don't maybe things won't go my way or just change suddenly. I'm writing the saddest songs of my life and you don't give a fuck about me.
I Opened up my heart, sat down and made a home for us. In hopes that things will never change.
I know I've been fucking up but I feel things might be enough someday.
I know I've been fucking up but I feel things might be enough someday.
|
||||
The Spectators Cleveland, Ohio
The Music is Free.
The Costs are Not.
Anything Helps.
Photos by: Sean O'Day
The Spectators are:
Joshua Jones
Michael Taddeo
Patrick Farmer
& JJ Frederico
The Spectators recommends:
Such Strange Speech
by The Grievance Club
Awesome Melodic Hardcore Jams. FFO: Counterparts, Defeater, Heart To Heart
go to albumIf you like The Spectators, you may also like:
Berkely duo Axe serve up four catchy, heavy synth-punk rippers inspired by campy horror flicks and old-school heavy metal.
go to album
Rotate the Mirror
by Silent Era
Oakland band Silent Era's sound is a killer mix of classic hardcore and NWOBHM. On their second LP, they're especially urgent and anthemic.
go to album
Three songs from this raucous New Zealand group that prove punk still has teeth and isn’t afraid to lunge and bite.
go to album
Bluest Year
by Girl and Her Bad Mood
Girl and Her Bad Mood are a dreampop band from Indonesia who excel at nestling heartbreakingly beautiful melodies amidst silvery guitars.
go to album
Taking cues from Midwestern emo and early ’10 pop punk, this Leeds, UK outfit are full of heart— not to mention hooks.
go to album
